Beaniekins (beaniekins) wrote,

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Life, the Universe and Everything.

So. I'm officially unemployed. It is a really, really awful feeling. I feel like a failure and I am intensely embarrassed, even though there is not one thing I could have done to prevent this from happening. I filed for unemployment the other day, and even though it was relatively painless (I did it online) and easy, the process made me feel very small. I have revamped and updated my resume and already sent it to dozens of places. Not one response.

I can't listen to the news anymore, not even a little. Anytime the unemployment rate gets mentioned or someone talks about the rising price of gas or how it'll be years before the economy is "normal" again, I have a panic attack. I'm very grateful that unemployment exists, but the fact is, it is not enough. I feel sick a lot and I'm always just a few seconds away from crying these days.

My sister, who had been my roommate for the past year, moved to New York with her boyfriend. There's still a year on our lease. Aside from the insane emotional damage this caused on a personal level, the stress of having to find a roommate and knowing that I'll have to live with a stranger for the better part of a year is not making my life any easier.

In short, everything is very, "woe is me" right now.

I am disabling comments because while woe is definitely me, it need not be you and despite all evidence to the contrary, this was not a plea for advice or sympathy or a general pile on of, "but you're awesome!" comments. But thanks, I know you're thinking it.

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