My new car is awesome. I love it. Having air conditioning is bliss. Having a radio, XM radio, a CD player and a jack for my iPod is an embarrassment of riches, but that's ok. I'm used to embarrassment. But I think my favorite part about having a new car is that, now, when I stop at the drive-thru to get a drink after work, I no longer have to turn off my car to silence the engine that was so loud the drive-thru people couldn't hear me make my order. Now I just glide up to the order box and revel in the quiet hum of the engine that politely idles while I order my soda without screaming myself hoarse.

As for the old car...I did indeed clean it out. And a more harrowing experience I cannot recall, unless it was the the Great Bedroom Cleaning of 1992, during which threats were issued, tears were shed, several items that might have once been food were found petrified under mountains of clothing and my bedroom carpet was discovered to be purple (we had all forgotten, it had been so long). At any rate, as promised here are some pictures:

This is the before picture of the driver's side back seat.


This is the passenger side backseat.



This is the disaster from the front seat. Although it is not entirely accurate since I actually had cleaned some of the front seat a week or so before. Just imagine more crap.



Here are some strange things I found while cleaning the car:

1) 2 almost full jugs of laundry detergent. Why did I have 2? Why were they both open? Why did I just buy laundry detergent the other day!? Anyway, if I had been planning to run away and live out of my car, the detergents would have come in handy, since I did find almost a closet's worth of clothing in there too.



2) A pair of turquoise sequined shoes. I bought these for 5 dollars at Payless for a Sex and the City party I went to where we were supposed to come dressed as a character. I'm pretty sure Carrie Bradshaw would rather die than wear 5 dollar Payless shoes, but they are at least as fugly as anything she wore on that show.



3) A package of cheap, plastic trophies. I have no idea.



4) Four rolls of paper towels. Why so many? What was I planning to do? Who knows? But they did come in handy while cleaning!



5) Three, count them, three, ice scrapers. I have so many because they would get buried in the mess and I couldn't find them. So I'd buy a new one. One of those I walked through a surprise ice storm to buy so I could get home. I bet the other two were laughing at me from under all those paper towels.



6) A box of little tropical drink umbrellas. Again, I am at a loss. I have no idea why I had them, but I am fully prepared for the next luau.



Other things I found while cleaning but are not pictured were: a fondue set, a corkscrew, a five dollar bill, a pair of 5 pound free weights I had forgotten I owned and my high school diploma.

It took about 3 hours and as many garbage cans but the end result was:

Clean backseat.




Clean front seat.



And a clean trunk. I forgot to take a picture of the trunk before I cleaned it. But I'm confident that having seen the examples of the front and back seats, you will have no trouble using your imagination to figure out what it looked like before.



My friend Becky says that if I keep my new car clean, she will vote in the next election. She doesn't vote currently. Her reason is she wants to avoid jury duty. I know, I know, don't send me your hate mail, I vote. And I'd kill for jury duty. But other than complete avoidance of civic duty, she's really a delightful person.

I just fear for the future of democracy if it hinges on my being able to keep a car clean.